I can't comprehend.

"July 27th.

Sometimes I am just so broken into pieces about how much God loves me. I don't deserve it at all. But I can feel His presence and I can feel Him holding me, even when I am broken, and He shows me that He uses the broken, the weak, and the poor to do His mighty things. 

We are the children of Light."   

I wrote that in my Bible this morning as I was sitting on my bed. I didn't intend to get so overwhelmed by the glory of God, but then again, do I ever? He ceases to amaze me. I have SO many  shortcomings and faults, I feel like I am drowning in them sometimes. But then there's God calling out to me, "Start swimming! You are in my ocean of grace." Why did I get this grace? Why? I just don't understand it. I'm quickly reminded though that I'm not always supposed to understand it. What makes me think I can understand God's ways if I can barely understand how to solve a word problem in math class? God didn't save me from my sin so I could sit around and ponder why He'd save a sinner like me. He saved me so that I could see his unfailing mercy, even in places and times it makes no sense at all to show such a thing. He wants me to trust in Him, because He is sufficient. The ONLY   way I could ever accept the love and the grace and the mercy God shows me is by trusting Him.

I still  can't help but wonder why, though. Why save me? He of course gives me an answer. He saved me so that he could USE ME. He wants to use me in the lives of other people who are sinners like me. People living in their mediocrity and their comfortable lifestyles. He wants to use me to show them that isn't living. Life is found in Jesus Christ. Fulfillment is found in Jesus Christ. Not in the latest iWhatever, the newest boyfriend, or the job you have. I was saved by my Jesus to live a life boldly proclaiming His name and His love, and a live that will most always be out of my comfort-zone. That's because Jesus isn't found in your comfort-zone. He's found walking across the water in the storm. He's found high on the mountain tops. He's found associating with those considered trash in society's standards. He's found reaching out to the lost, living amongst the poverty, and praying with the outcasts.

So I have to make a choice. Will I remain comfortable? Sitting on my comfy bed typing this on my iPad with my cool new pink keyboard? Or will I take Jesus' hand and let Him lead me into the waves on the stormy sea so that I can walk with Him and experience my purpose in Him? I read a quote in a book I'm reading called "Kisses from Katie." she said in one of her journal entries, "God's glory has fallen down into this place and is soaking us even deeper than the rain. I never want to be dry." I want to live that life. A life saturated in God's glory, pouring out His love. I never want to be dry.